Yesterday we went for my first ultrasound and first appointment with a real doctor. Both experiences were very positive and I no longer feel compelled to burn down Pennsylvania Hospital's OB department. The ladies at the front desk, the ultrasound tech, and the doctor who came in to interpret the results were all friendly, cheerful, and even funny. I was extremely nervous about the ultrasound, terrified that something was going to be wrong. It was a comfort to be taken care of by such nice people.
The ultrasound was an emotional experience. It's been kind of surreal to know that I'm pregnant without any outward evidence to support it. To see that tiny gummy bear looking thing wiggle on the screen and know that it's inside me was incredible. The technician told us I was exactly 10 weeks along and gave us a due date of April 29. So nice to have some scientific facts this time. We go back for another ultrasound in 6 weeks and then another 4 weeks after that.
The visit to the doctor was equally positive. The doctor was warm, friendly, and had the bedside manner of a totally normal guy. I didn't even feel funny about him poking around because he was just so nice, he made me very comfortable. He engaged Frank in the conversation and answered every question I had before I could ask it. He also is very committed to his patients. He made sure to tell me that he'd most likely be there to deliver the baby but if he wasn't on call, it would be his partner who I could certainly meet beforehand if I wanted. He found the baby's heartbeat, which was a wonder, and did another ultrasound, which I could stare at all day. My favorite part of the visit was when he told me to eat whatever I want - aside from raw fish or meat - and if I gain 40 pounds, it's ok. Holler at your fatgirl! I have no intention of gaining anywhere close to 40 pounds but it was nice to hear a doctor be so laid back about things, rather than giving me a long list of don'ts. This doctor is my new best friend. I'm actually looking forward to my next visit in 4 weeks. I've never looked forward to a doctor's apppointment in my entire life.
Am I letting go of some anxiety? Not really. I'm still a basket case but seeing the baby has helped. I'm trying to take it one day at a time.