There's so much going on in my brain right now and most of it can be filed in one of two categories: panic or rage.
Panic because we have just about 3 months left - if the chicken goes all 4o weeks before showing himself - and nothing is done. If you came over to my house there would be no evidence that would suggest a baby was on his way to live there. We are in no way set up at this point for a baby. Also, in less than 90 days there will be a new person on this planet, a person that I will physically put here, and I will be his mother. Can't quite get my mind around that one. He doesn't even have a name yet.
Let's not even talk about the physical part ok? Because the panic people, the panic. I've never been to the hospital for anything other than visiting hours. The emergency room only exists on TV to me, as I've never seen one in person. Do you see what I'm saying here? I have no experience being a patient for more than 15 minutes in a doctor's office. Physical trauma and being in the hospital are not things with which I'm familiar. Yet very, very soon, I'll be admitted to the hospital to give freaking birth and oh the hyperventilation just thinking about it.
Panic and craziness aside, two things were purchased from our baby registry this week and I'm so excited it's like I'm a 9 year old in December. It was quite by accident that I found this out. Really, not stalking my own registry I swear. I was trying to show someone the stroller we picked out and lo and behold, some items had moved into the "already purchased category. It's a little weird I know, to be so freaking excited about a pack and play and a receiving blanket but someday I will share with you my anxiety and weirdness suffered at the idea of actually creating a baby registry at all, so to see that it actually works is very thrilling indeed. And probably because it helps with the panicking, to know that things are indeed moving along. While the idea of an actual baby in my house is still a little too abstract for my own mental health, at least the boy will have somewhere to sleep now. Maybe we'll even move the boxes out of his room before he gets here.