Holding Pattern

You know what's fun? When doctors and nurses don't know anything and just best guess your ass to the hospital because they don't really now what the hell is going on so "go to the hospital and get checked" is their answer for everything.

A week ago I went for another nonstress test. They don't allow "support people" back for the test because the room is too small so Frank just drops me off and then finds somewhere to park and wait for my call. He watches dvds in the backseat. The test is supposed to be about a half hour. They strap a fetal monitor and a contraction monitor on my belly and then watch to make sure the baby's heart rate responds to his movements. There was some kind of staff shortage or whatever that day because I sat in the waiting room for over an hour past my scheduled appointment time, the excuse being "there's only one nurse today". I'll refrain from criticizing the nurse because that has to be some bad karma for a person who is about to be at their mercy but seriously, she wasn't like, a one armed nurse or anything. When I finally did get in there and hooked up, I was contracting a lot and the chicken kept squirming off the monitor. I sat there for a half hour while they couldn't get a reading at which point they decided to do a biophysical profile - which is an ultrasound where they hold the wand in one spot and watch specifically for lung and diaphragm movement. The nurse doing the ultrasound noticed that I was contracting a lot too and tried to distract me by talking to me and taking 3d pictures of the chicken for me. She saw the movements she needed to see from the baby and said she would tell the doctor about my contractions when she told him the profile was good.

At some point, I should have said, "it's nothing. I've been having contractions like this for over a month now." But I guess there was some wishful thinking on my part that hey, these people know more than me and if they're concerned by my contractions, maybe we're getting somewhere. Ha ha. Fake.

The doctor came in and said it looked like I was in early labor and to go to the hospital to get checked out. While waiting for the elevator we ran into my regular Ob who asked what we were doing there and when we told him he said, "yeah I'll see you Thursday" (my next appointment). He didn't think I was anywhere near labor. But even he said go get checked anyway. So back to labor and delivery we went, back in a hospital gown, back on the monitors, back to getting poked by strangers. It was a midwife this time who said I wasn't dilated at all but she would check again in two hours. Two hours! My original appointment was at 10:30am. It was now past 2pm. Two hours later, the midwife came back, checked again, no change, and we were sent home. Again. The midwife said I just have what they call an "irritable uterus" that contracts all the time. I KNOW THAT! Ugh. SO cranky then and still now just thinking about it.

So we went to our regular Ob appointment on Thursday where the doctor checked me out. We're at the pantsless stage of visits now, which I actually don't mind since at least it seems like things are moving along. The doctor said I was 1 1/2cm dilated, about 90% effaced, and the baby's head was at -1. To go from no dilation to 1 1/2cm in a couple of days is pretty good progress apparently and he said that he wouldn't be surprised if I went into labor all by myself sometime this week. If not, he would help me along at our appointment next week.

Here it is Tuesday now and nothing is happening. Yesterday was very exciting because I was having tremendous pressure in my lower back, so much so that I couldn't stand for more than a minute or two. I was also feeling very crampy and my usual contractions had a different edge to them. It was all very exciting...and ultimately not. Nothing developed any further. Nothing happened over night. Here I sit.

I hope something happens before Thursday because I would really like to go into labor by myself. Not enough to tell the doctor so - I like his plan much better - but there's a part of me that wants things to get going on their own. It's a small part though and at this point, I'm truly happy to get there any way I can. Bring on the weird, crochet hook looking water breaker thing. I'm so ready.