What's St. Paddy's Day without a Little Ham?

About a month ago, maybe more, Lora and I were talking about plans for her boy's birthday party and I volunteered to pick up the cake.  She replied that she didn't want to put that responsibility on me just in case that weekend was the one that Bo comes down with the pukes.

So I think I'm free to blame Lora for the unbelievable explosion of bodily fluids all over the damn place last week.  She talked it up.*

I'll spare you the details but holy crap.  Holy contagious crap.  Bo went down first. Two days later Frank spent the entire night in the bathroom.  He had two black eyes the next day.  That's how hard he was puking.  A day after that, my dad and my brother went down.  We missed Lora's party.  I didn't want to take Typhoid Mary anywhere, especially to a house full of children. I declared a quarantine on our house until all symptoms and fevers were gone.  Somehow I was spared the worst of it and just had a little stomachache Saturday.  It was no fun around here for a while.

But we're all better now!  And it's Springtime! 

Bo is 11 months old.  The first one to tell me he's about to be a year old gets diarrhea wished upon you.

He's not walking or talking yet but don't tell him that.  The day is a constant stream of babbling, yelling, laughing; directed at me, Frank, random toys, his own feet, whatever.  He says mamamamamamamama! and babababbababababa! for everything and nothing.  His favorite phrase is to stick his tongue out and say thumathumathumathum.  If you say it, he'll repeat it and it's like a whole deliciously gibberishy conversation.  He also likes to repeat consonants and fake cough.   

He's getting braver and braver in terms of walking.  Every day he spends a little more time - we're talking seconds really - standing without holding on to anything.  The past few days he's been trying take a step with no hand while cruising.  We keep saying we have to get the video camera ready.  Huh.  I should really just go plug it in now...

What else? He eats everything.  And if you're eating near him you'd best be ready to share.  Don't try giving him a stupid sippy cup of formula either.  You better break off a piece of that sandwich/salad/fruit/shoe leather you're enjoying and keep it coming.  Just put it down and back away and don't try any of that spoon feeding nonsense.  Too much lag time between dish and mouth.  He likes to eat, is what I'm saying.

Blahblahblah mommyblogblah.

He's awesome and makes my life awesome.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

*Of course I'm joking.  Lora doesn't bring plagues down on households. I love Lora.  One day I may even see her again.

FAIL

It's not my intention to let this blog languish for weeks at a time. I was talking to Lora the other day (it was more than 2 weeks ago but in the freaky fastforward wormhole that sucked me in the day Bo was born, that was like yesterday) about how this blog sucks. Her response was that it doesn't so much suck as it's just nonexistent. So true. It's not that I don't have anything to talk about or think about or work through. I just sort of suck at life these days.

Speaking of sucking at life...

You know that expression we like to use about how people should be required to obtain a license to have kids? I solemnly swear to never, ever say that again. Because if it were true and I passed the test in the first place (which is no guarantee. My stupid driving test took 3 tries. And I was 23 years old.), my license would have been revoked already, multiple times. Because I suck. I also promise to never again snark about the ridiculously unecessary warnings all over every baby item ever produced, as I am apparently their target audience. That audience being, of course, morons.

Last weekish, I was in the kitchen with the baby, trying to clean out the refrigerator. He was in the bumbo seat because he MUST! BE! UPRIGHT! at all times. In being upright though, he must be no more than 2 feet from my face. So I had him in the bumbo, in one of our kitchen chairs. The chairs are those high, bar stool style ones for sitting at a counter. Or a bar. They do have backs, they're not actual stools. Anyway, he was in one of those chairs and I had him pulled close to me, within (what I thought was)arm's reach. Except notsomuch.

In the minute it took to turn my head and shove something down the garbage disposal, that boy fidgeted and wriggled himself right off the edge of the chair, head first, onto the floor. Onto the ceramic tile kitchen floor. Head first.

Then I had to be the idiot mom at the pediatrician's office (at 8pm bless them) explaining that I had my baby rigged precariously and let him fall off of a chair. I could not believe I was actually uttering the words "I just turned around for a minute". GAH. I wanted to roll my eyes at myself.

He was fine. The doctor isn't sure he even hit his head at all.

It's becoming scarily clear though, that could be the first of many trips we'll be making to the doctor's office/emergency room with this boy. He spends most of his day launching himself head first at things he wants or at nothing in particular. When he's not trying to bash his skull, he's attempting to escape from whatever I've tried to use as confinement. He makes the exersaucer move across the floor with all his vigorous thrashing about, he's figured out how to use his foot as leverage to get out of the bumbo seat (that thing is so retired by the way), and more than once he's rolled clear out of our laps. I'm not saying it's ok to drop your baby, but I understand how it could happen.

And If You Got 10 Sticky Fingers...

Like most 4 month olds, Bo has discovered hands. He loves to watch my hands do things and he puts his hands on mine when I'm buckling him into his car seat or stroller, like he's helping. He doesn't really stare at his own hands so much as suck on them all day long. He tries to get both fists into his mouth at once sometimes. He'll also sit playing with his tongue and chewing on his fingers at the back of his mouth, where his molars will eventually be.

Anything else in the general vicinity of is face will end up in his mouth too. He's starting to figure out how to grab things and anything he manages to get into his hands goes straight to his mouth. He chews on my shoulder when we're walking around and he even got a handful of my hair in there today (because the hair is excellent for grabbing and holding onto, apparently. I really need a hair cut btw.). Bo will grab Frank's thumb and put it in his mouth and go to town. He'll even take a break, pulling Frank's thumb out and then putting it back in. He does it with the pacifier too.

Even though this is all normal developmental stuff, my baby is a genius. No baby has ever figured out how to put things in his mouth as efficiently and smartly as my boy. And the drool is just proof of his incredibly giant and brilliant brain. SHUT UP, he's a genius.

I'm a little concerned though, because he's sucking his thumb a lot. He's pretty much given up the pacifier in favor of the thumb. He'll actually spit the pacifier out so he can suck his thumb. Mostly I'm unconcerned. Except for a little bit. Because I don't want Bo to be a thumb sucker and he's already displaying some of the behaviors of one. He sucks for comfort when he's feeling upset or stressed, he sucks to get himself to sleep and to get back to sleep if he startles himself awake. I have visions of him being one of those 6 year olds you see at the mall, still in the stroller, sucking away. And well, ew.

I'm unconcerned because he's only 4 months old. This isn't a hard and fast habit he's developing here. Right? RIGHT? The other thing is, it's so damned cute. He gets that fat little thumb into his mouth and sucks like there's no tomorrow. Sometimes his enormous head falls forward into his lap because he's so intent on getting as much of the thumb into his mouth as possible, he can't expend the effort pick that melon up.

I'm trying to get some sort of schedule going with this boy (and oy, talk about sucking), part of which is getting him to sleep before 11pm, on his own, without nursing himself into unconsciousness. The trade off is the thumb. Am I setting myself up for a fight down the road? Is there going to be a pepper on the thumb showdown in our future? If I discourage the thumb in favor of the pacifier, isn't it really just the same thing?

No really, I'm asking you.




Because I'm a marshmallow when it comes to this boy.


Do you see those legs? Those legs are so FAT that they get stuck in the Bumbo. I pick the boy up and the seat comes with him.

17lbs.

SEVENTEEN POUNDS!


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two posts in two days. you have to be impressed. I'm just saying.